lots can happen...

Wow, it has been a while since I posted here last.  Many things have happened since that time.  One of the biggest things has been that I switched jobs.  It might not sound like anything big but for me it was a major change.  I was in my 12th year in my old job and I loved the job and loved my co-workers and all the students I worked with and saw daily.  In all the years I had been at school I had really grown to love being around teenagers.  I was around 11-14 year old everyday.  I made great friends with many of the students who passed through those doors over the years.  Many of those people are still in contact with me today.   Kids at that age go through so much mentally and physically whether it is struggles with their self image, issues with friends or lack of, problems with school or even issues at home.  I have heard it all.  So many kids confided in me.  I wasn't a teacher.  I wasn't the Councillor.  I was a neutral person at school who lent an ear and cared enough to listen.  I had an open door policy and anyone could talk to me.  So many students "deemed" problem kids would come to school bright and early in the mornings when I used to do breakfast so they could come and chat with me before anyone else showed up and they got in trouble.  We used to have a plan in place with old Admin that we would lend an ear and try to get to know each student in the school so no one was left out.  As long as each student had one adult that they could deal with, we were on track.  As Admin changes, so do the rules.  That plan seemed to go out the window.  I was told a few different times that I was not allowed to talk with the students because I was not covered by the ATA.  What that means is, they were worried that if a parent came forth and complained or a student accused me of something, we could be sued.  Honestly, that was the last thing I thought of when dealing with kids.  I didn't let it stop me.  If kids feel comfortable enough to talk to me and I am the person they confided in, so be it.  The last 2-3 years of my employment were absolutely horrible.  I came home crying on a regular basis.  I wanted to quit but I knew what I would also give up if I did.  I had great benefits, wonderful pay, lots of holidays, summers off (collecting employment insurance) but most of all I enjoyed the kids. 

I had decided last year, that 2019 I was going to put myself first.  My kids are older and don't need me as much.  I was going to get my head on straight and finally start doing things for me.  I had never done that before. 

October 25th, 2019 was my last day at the school.  It was a very difficult day.  I had a bunch of kids crying asking me not to leave.  I had heard from so many co-workers that I had made a positive and meaningful impact at the school.  That was so good to hear.  For many years I felt like I was not heard.  That all of my ideas (which were always productive and to better things) were not welcomed.  I was not in the classroom so nothing I ever brought forth was education related.  I wanted to try and bring fun back into the school.  Nothing about school was fun anymore.  The last year that anything fun had been done was the year my daughter was in grade 9 which was 4 years prior. 

Anyways, I was finally done at the school.  I started working for a land agent a week later.  I have not looked back.  Everything I didn't get from my old job I get from the new one.  I do miss the kids though. 

I just wanted to let any of you know that taking chances and risks like a new job or career are scary.  You never know if the grass is going to be greener.  How will you know though if you don't take that chance.  I am so glad I did.  My stress is completely gone.  I see everything differently now and I am so much happier.